In celebration of the birth of our Masai community project, we threw a party. A goat-slaughtering party.
Here’s a step-by-step guide so you can try it with your friends:
1. Take mbuzi goat into forest.
2. Strangle goat with bare hands.
3. Skin goat (with panga machete).
4. Poke goat’s jugular vein; casually drink oozing blood.
5. Hack goat apart limb from limb (with panga).
6. Chop firewood (with panga).
7. Roast goat and all its organs over fire.
8. Slice goat into bite-sized chunks (with panga).
9. Close eyes and awaken the inner carnivore.
10. Devour meat chunks until bloated or unconscious. Keep chewing. Meat makes you strong, they say.
Materials needed:
1 pair bare hands
1 goat
1 panga
Step 1
Step 3
Step 4
Step 5
Step 7
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Yes, I drank the blood, straight from its neck. It tastes like fish. Of course I had a million questions beforehand: is it diseased, will I get AIDS, will I be eaten alive by intestinal worms? Their sympathetic grins were enough to shut me up. To me it means “Silly mzungu, we know what we’re doing,” which is the usual response when I ask scared-white-guy questions.
It took about 30 minutes to dissect the whole goat, head to toe, with that one panga. Impressive. In 9th grade biology we dissected a rat, and it took me 30 minutes to stop giggling at its oversized testicles.
A science lab you can eat
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This picture was a joke.
This picture was not.
Response time! What do you think? A few questions come to mind: What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever dissected? For all our worries and hyper-hygiene practices, are Americans really that much healthier?
1 comment
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November 3, 2009 at 5:41 pm
robinmubaky
I am printing this out and putting it next to our barbaque, to get ‘in the mood. ‘ Even though it’s kinda sick- I can’t beleive you publish this on the internet but Im glad you do:)